Tuesday, December 19, 2006

'Tis the season...

I dread this time of year. I used to look forward to Christmas a lot more, it was really different back in the day. A friend of mine was asking me about the thing that was ‘the most’ different about life here and life in Kenya. I said, ‘Christmas is a lot more fun there.’ Maybe that isn’t true for everyone but for me, Christmas was a time of fun and celebration and family. One of my favorite memories from Christmas growing up was putting together Christmas ‘baskets’ with my dad and then delivering them to families we knew. The ‘baskets’ were filled with great stuff like, whole chickens, bags of flour, bags of maize, and little toys for the kids. I remember delivering the ‘baskets’ and the families would be so excited and so grateful, the kids would be thrilled because of the little matchbox cars, dolls and candy. It was really a treat for them and they were always full of gratitude, and we always left them all grinning and waving at their doorsteps.
Christmas to America is about stuff and shopping and spending too much money. At least that’s the way it seems. I don’t like it here. I hate going to get groceries this time of year, people are walking through the isles with frowns and in such a rush you would think a natural disaster were about to take place…but nothing is coming, except for Christmas. I don’t really enjoy going to work either, so many people have come in these last few days in such bad moods, I am serving adults but I feel like I am serving children! They are super impatient and throw temper tantrums if everything doesn’t go their way. (Side note: Next time you are in a restaurant and they are out of what you want, keep in mind that your server is doing his or her job…it’s the kitchen’s job to keep the food stocked…so don’t yell at the server, it’s not their fault.)
Anyhow, with all of the negativity around me it has been hard to get into the ‘Christmas spirit’. A few weeks ago, my roommates made me participate in putting the tree up…I still don’t see the point. Just last week, I rode around in the car with some other friends and we looked at Christmas lights…again…the point? I guess the point of Christmas for many people isn’t to focus on celebrating the greatest gift ever given to man. Maybe it is to spend lots of money on everyone you know, to rush through the month of December and hopefully remember at the end of it all how to use the muscles in their face that make them smile. I hope I never become that kind of an American. I pray that my focus will stay on Christ…not only but especially at Christmas time. I hope that when I have a family of my own, I will portray to them the importance of loving those around me and remember the true reason we celebrate at Christmas.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Is this Bible written in English?

I keep meaning to sit down and write a blog...like last week and the week before that. I don't know why I don't have much to write about lately, I feel like I have a ton of stuff going on! Work is crazy busy since everyone is wanting to have holiday parties and holiday parties need lots of good food...therefore they call me! (not everybody but lots of people) Anyhow, all that to say work is busy and for that I am grateful but it does leave me tired at the end of the day so my social interactions are limited (to say the least).
Here is the struggle that is on my mind...if anyone has some words of wisdom, by all means, share! Lately I have been frustrated when I read the Word. I read some chapters and find encouragement, rebuke, and more understanding of who God is. Then I read other chapters and find myself skimming over words that seem to crash into my brain and shatter into misunderstanding before I can digest them into making any sense at all! Yesterday I was talking with a friend of mine who is catholic, we were having a conversation about the differences between our beliefs when I asked him where the papacy originated from. So he gave me a reference from Matthew, when Jesus tells Peter he is the Rock and appoints him the leader over the apostles. Later I read the passage and felt like I was reading a book in a language I don't understand. I don't understand where others find greater meanings from passages. When I asked a friend with an doctorate of ministry, he quickly new the reference I was talking about and what my catholic friend was referring to. I left the conversation praying...'ok God, why is this so hard? Do I have to get a seminary degree to understand more about you because it feels like I have hit the place where I can't grasp any more on my own!" Keeping in mind of course that I trust God to show Himself to me as He sees fit but why do I find the Word, the very basis of my faith, the thing I cling to when nothing else makes sense...so hard to comprehend!?
Anyway, there is my heart for today.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Someone stole my cell phone...

On Saturday I had a garage sale, I had a bunch of people from church give me their old junk so I could sell it in attempts to save up money to see my sister in January. It was a great garage sale, free coffee, hot chocolate and doughnuts, great prices, it was practically a party on my lawn. I have to say this too, if it wasn't for the fact that garage sales start at the crack of dawn, I would love to host them more often. It really is fun! (Side note to anyone planning on doing a garage sale, if you want people to start coming at six-thirty they will come at six...those people are crazy!) Anyhow, during the second hour of my garage party I realized a very important part of my world had gone missing...someone had stolen my cell phone! What is that about!? Funny thing is my first response was the same as my parents..."that is something I expect to happen in Kenya but not here!" So, my regular contact with others has crashed to a screeching halt. I do have a home number but it has no answering machine and I even have a new cell phone now but no one is allowed to talk to me on it for more than 59 seconds at a time...it's a pre-paid-per-minute-rip-off-phone but it faithfully takes my messages and keeps me sane.
So there you have it, that's about as exciting as my life gets right now...
p.s. Some have asked how my parents are doing...they came through Jackson on a quick trip so I got to see them recently. It was good to have them back even if it was for a short time, they are already back in TZ and planning trips to see my other two sisters abroad soon!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Hi everyone

So, it's been a while. I just haven't had the inspiration to write on here lately....so this is just a quick blog to say hi to all my die-hard fans. (yah right) I will get back into this soon!

Monday, October 2, 2006

My jobs...

At my last job I got to hang out with a bunch of kids and then tell stories about the funny things they said on my blog. Now I work with adults for the most part and I have to say it is much more difficult to be patient with adults...it just seems like they should know better.
Here are a couple funny things I have heard/conversations I have had at my new place of employment:

A nice lady at a table I am serving asks: Are you from Texas?
I answer (with some question in my voice and on my face): No.
She asks: Then why are you wearing that pendant of Texas around your neck?
(the pendant is of Africa)
I answer: Oh, this is actually Africa.
She looked at me real funny and says: Oh, okay dear.

A man comes up to the counter and asks for our catering menu...
One of the other ladies goes to get it and I say: She will be right back with that in a second.
He replies: Oh, It's been a second!
I laughed (yes it was a fake laugh) and said: She will be right back with that in a moment.
He askes: How many seconds is in a moment?
I reply: Ninety.
(some people are impossible)

Two ladies occupied one of my tables and everything they ordered was low-fat or fat-free...they were obviously trying to watch everything they ate...respectively.
Well, I went up to the table to see if they needed anything and asked if they would like some more rolls. One of the ladies replied, 'yes, but could you get us the lightest ones you can find?" I thought for sure that by 'light' she ment 'not as well done' 'not crispy' not brown'...no, I brought some back and she looked at them funny. I asked her if everything was okay and she said (pointing at the rolls), 'those look the same as the ones before'. I said, 'yes well they are all baked about the same.' She said, 'no I ment I need ones with less fat'. I said, "we don't have low fat rolls." She was a little put out...but seriously 'light rolls', you have got to be kidding!

That's all for now!

Just to clarify...

This is an outline of Africa...
This is an outline of Texas..

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I have a job!

Yeah, to anyone I haven't talked to today...Good News! I have a job! I have been employed part time for a while now but the 15 hour a week thing isn't working anymore! So, (starting Monday)I am now a waitress/hostess at H.R.H. Dumplins in Jackson, TN! Come on in and I'll serve you up some of the best food in town!

Saturday, September 9, 2006

Rift Valley Academy

I stumbled across this video...it captures a bit of the 'good old days' at RVA. Enjoy.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


Please Pray for Anna!!!


Tuesday, August 22, 2006

I just can't help myself!

I am working at "Afternoon's At Augustine", I spend a couple of hours with a bunch of kids each day and get paid to do it..it's great! I keep being amazed at the crazy things that they say and do...and think that they can get away with. I have been trying to remember if when I was eight I thought adults were deaf and stupid because the kids act like I am both. I can't tell you how many times just today that I caught a child goofing off during homework time, asked them if they had finished their homework, gotten an affirmative answer, then when I ask them to see it- all of their work suddenly becomes undone and they have to finish that last math page. It's like magic!

Here are some funny things the kids at school have said and done:

(context: Out on the playgroud)
I am sitting watching them play when one of the third grade boys comes and stands next to me and says, "I just can't help myself!" I said, "What do you mean?" He replied, "I just keep pickin up rocks and throwing them and pickin up sticks and hittin them at people!" I said, "maybe you should sit out for a while." He answered, "yah, I think I do!"

(context: Beth's office)
Beth and I walk into her office to find her five year old son in front of about eight orange plastic safety cones all placed randomly (or so we first thought) beside her desk. Also, a sprite can with apparent scissor laserations was sitting on the edge of the desk. 'A crime scene', I thought. When he noticed our arrival he announced to us with his hands over the cones and a firm expression on his face, "There is wet!" I had to leave the room so I wouldn't laugh out loud as Beth began her questioning.

(context: a moment of chaos)
On a whim and for lack of better entertainment for a group of stir crazy kids, I handed out one crayon and a piece of paper to each child and told them to think of things that are the color of the crayon I gave them and draw those things. One little boy got purple...I didn't notice until later but he drew the one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater!

(context: an inclassroom discussion around some serious coloring)
Second grader: "Miss Heidi, how is Mrs. Cullum's baby going to get out of her?"
Another second grader: "Out through her shoulder, duh!"
I decided to let their parents deal with that one...

More to come!!!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Single yearnings

Sometimes I struggle with being single. I want to be married, I desire that companionship, children, my own home to keep. But most of the time, I am content, even joyful that I have this time of singleness. I have an abundance of time and therefore opportunities to serve others as a single women. I enjoy going into the homes of my sweet friends, tending to their children, making them dinner, and often sharing company with them, my 'married' friends. And I leave those special times with a full heart, and often more of an idea of how I would like my future husband to treat me and my children. But lately it has been more difficult. Although I can blame it on a number of things like the many comments and well meaning 'nudges' that I recieve from my (married) sisters in Christ, it all comes down to my heart and what I let myself dwell on at the end of the day. I need to be more intentional about thinking on today, what God has blessed me with NOW, and how He can and wants to use me (despite my shortcomings). It's just so easy for my desire to turn into an aching 'need' and for my yearning heart to turn into a jealose hurt.
So I don't feel like this is the best blog I have ever writin but it is what is on my heart so I am sharing...let me know your thoughts!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Peace and quiet in my mouth...

Tonight I am spending the evening with Maggie and Chris...right now they are 'discussing' who gets which chocolate, each of the chocolates are a different shape and you know each shape tastes different even if they are made out of the same stuff. Chris said something funny a couple of minutes ago, it was an oddly silent few minutes at the dinner table when I commented on how they were being very quiet this evening. Maggie said something about when they aren't around other kids they are quiet...ya right. Then Chris replied, "It's not peace and quiet in my mouth!"...he is eating Captain Crunch for dinner...what a funny kid. Anyway, it made me think. How often do I appear as though things are peaceful and quiet in my heart when really emotions and thoughts are whirling out of control in there?! The answer is often. Mostly because I usually am in a situation where I feel it is the most appropriate to keep my mouth shut but also because I am so prideful. Even when I am with the people who I am closest to, I most often don't share the things that are raging war on my heart when I should. And I realize that it is because I don't want to be vulnerable, I don't want to be a burden and I like to look as though I have everything together...especially when I don't. But it is always freeing and growing when I take the extra step and put forth that extra energy to share my burdens...remind me of that when you think I need to hear it ok!
So a word to the proud like myself...get over it and let the people who love you know how they can be there for you or at least let them know when it's not peace and quiet in your heart. Even if they can't do anything about it, they can pray.

p.s. no one got any chocolate

Monday, August 7, 2006

My sins, in perspective

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed to us. Romans 8:8

There is an amazing power to being still. This Saturday I was doing a job that forces you to be still and quiet for three, two hour periods. For the day I brought a book to read, my Bible and a notebook. It's been a while since I have been able to just sit and read and think for this many hours at a time...what a blessing it was! I began reading in Romans 8, then realized a connection that I have never noticed before...Romans 8 comes right after Romans 7! Yes, obvious I know but Romans 7 is all about struggling with sin..."For when we were controlled by the sinful nature(flesh), the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death. But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the spirit." Romans 7:5-6 THEN Romans 8 begins with the great, "Therefore, there is now no condemnations for those who are in Christ Jesus..."!!! It is the message of salvation that is seen throughout the Word but written in a way that gives me a new perspective on more than just my sin. Romans 8:5-8 says, "but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of the sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace." What a great reminder to me that when I sin, it is, in part, because my mind is not set on what the Spirit desires! (1)
To grasp the glory of God is impossible by through reading these chapters my heart is encouraged and rests knowing that in comparison to the glory I will see when I meet Jesus- this present suffering in nothing. On a day like today, why my heart is heavy and I am SO weary of this world. It is good to find the perspective of Romans 8, it comforts me and I find while reading it that all these things going on are important but in the grand scheme of things they just don't matter that much. These hardships are bringing me closer to God-what a sweet, sweet blessing. There is nothing greater that experiencing God drawing me closer to Him, truly knowing that I am part of His sonship-while that may bring suffering, I praise Him and thank Him for it because I desire to be drawn closer to Him-whatever it takes. It's been a difficult decade but now, walking in obedience I have the Savior or the world backing me up. The king who will crush His enemies, who is just and full of compassion. He is the one I depend on and rest in His presence.

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you receive the Spirit of sonship (or adoption). And by him we cry "Abba, Father."...The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children..."

(1) Go hear for a great sermon in Psalms

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

It's been a while...

Sorry to those of you who actually check my blog site...I realize that it has been a month since I updated, my how time flies! To be honest, being on the internet has become a task for me now that I am taking an online class again. I don't remember online classes ever taking so much time, this one is a killer. For those of you who don't know yet, I will be moving hopefully at the first of the month. Not a huge move but everybody keep your trailers hitched, I am headed to a house that is located about seven minutes from my current dwelling. Just a jump, skip and a hop! Right now, living there are three other ladies who I am covenanted with in membership at Cornerstone Community Church here in town. I love the fact that I am only growing closer to everyone at church and being able to live with fellow members I know is going to be a joy. So, Sarah, Elise and Ryan...here I come!
Onto other news, hmmm....well, let me see. Nope not really any other news. Someone asked me the other day on the phone, 'what new is going on in Jackson'...I said well, it's Jackson. Funny how that response explains itself to anyone who has lived here for any amount of time.
Oh, tomorrow is a very exciting day, I will be attending a concern, Robin Mark. No not really a fan but my friend Sarah is so I am sure that after tomorrow night I will be!
Well, I won't ramble anymore...love to everyone! I'll try to do better about posting often!

Monday, June 12, 2006


I have one of the world's stupidest dogs. Lovely has always been quick at learning tricks, sitting when she is suppose to, barking at intruders but this week she has learned a new one that has me baffled...and probably would even upset Ceasar! Lovely continues to prop herself up on our backyard table and cannot get herself down. Don't be fooled, I thought at first she was just being stubborn...she has been known to be such. But after trying to coerce her down with treats, water, food and yes begging...I realized that she was in fact stuck. Yesterday I let her stay there just about all day thinking that she would learn her lesson...until I felt sorry enough for her then helped her down. Today, well she has been up there since this morning and it is 5:30 in the evening as I write this. What do I do?

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

That's not my mess!

For the summer I am keeping kids, four of them between the ages of six and nine. My house is suddenly in a state of perpetual messiness. And what is weird is that at the very same time for some reason spiders have infested my house...big brown ones...augh! Anyway, the point of this blog is the amazing wonder of how messes get messed all over my house all day long and somehow everytime I appoint a cleaner upper, it's not their mess. It's someone elses...I know it isn't mine because I don't play with train sets or puzzles or read elmo books or build lego towers(then topple them over) or spill koolaid (and not clean it up right away) or make tents out of quilts and try to play baseball inside of them or a lot of the activities that create the messes that I find in my very own room. (note of admittal: I do play these kinds of games at times but make a point to clean up after each episode) Just yesterday I walked into the play room and wondered if the carpet had been replaced by a collage of toys and pillows, when I turned to the children (who were IN the room) and asked them to please clean up they simultaniously pointed to each other and said, "he did it" and "she did it" also simultaniously. They both had to clean up and as usual when I went in the room later I finished cleaning up what was left out...funny thing about kids, the definition of 'cleaned up' for them is a little different than my definition of 'cleaned up'. So more often then not, they 'clean up' then I go in after them and finish up. Anyhow, upon walking away from this situation I started to think, "do I do that"? In my life, when I make a mess, do I clean it up or do I point to whoever is closest or easyest to blame and say "they did it"? When I have a day that isn't the best, do I turn it into my failure to examine my own self or do I blame the person who said one sly remark and 'ruined my day'? Then, even if I do make a mess and try to clean it up myself, do I really get it cleaned up? I know that I can't clean up my sinful mistakes, all I can do for those is admit to them and God does the forgiving (cleaning) part.
There are many people in my life, including myself that could look back on their past and become angry and bitter. Not at themselves necessarily but at the people that added to unfortunate events in their lives. Praise God that in most, I do not find this to be true. Sure we all have our days where we pout a little (or a lot) over our lot in life. For the most part though, by God's unfailing grace, we are able to wake up each day with a purpose and live beyond what our pasts drag into our daily lives. Just think about it, before you start pointing fingers, clean up what you got out and whatevers left...God will take care of it.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


Please pray for Anna, this is a picture of her with her mom, Marlo. Also, find updates on her progress at: http://www.caringbridge.org/ok/annajane/

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

To my fellow sufferers...

This week I had a great conversation with a friend of mine about a subject that happens to be coming up a lot in my life recently...so just like any good blogger would, I made a note to blog it. As I start writing this I have to think to myself first of all where in the world to I start with this and second, how personal do I really want to get. Well, I have decided to start here...
1 Peter 4:12-13 'Dear friends, do not be suprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.'
Granted, my 'suffering' is slight compared to the trials that many people around the world are having to face, I do have the tendancy to look at my struggles and become weary. And I have just come to a very important and real understanding of how and WHY God stretches us through suffering. I know that when I am stretched in my faith and still believe and have confidence in God's power and wisdom, I will come out with stronger faith and a 'greater capacity to serve Him.'1 When it comes down to it, this is why I am alive and serving Him is what I desire to do through every aspect of my life. (Another side of this issue is the fact that Satan is SO ready to pounce on our every weakness and try his hardest to bring us to a place of defeat. I often ask myself, why does it take me so long to figure out, in the midst of pain and suffering that so much of it is because I give in to Satan's lies. But that is a whole other blog.)
Fact is, fellow sufferers, He won't give us more than we can handle...through His power, we will always come out of our pain (hopefully better at trusting Him then before our trials) when we rely on the power of God to work in our lives. Aren't you glad we are all in this together, on this 'SHORT road called life, in preparation for eternity with Him!'2

1. http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/devotionals/in_touch/
2. Thanks Molly!

Tuesday, May 9, 2006

Izard County, Arkansas

Here I am with Grandma G, we are in front of the schoolhouse that she went to school at growing up.

Here are Sahara and Bria, on the way there...yeah for road trips!
This is me ringing Grandma's old school bell...the same bell she used to ring when she taught school there years ago!
Family snapshots...This is at Aunt Betty's house where we had red velvet cake and ice cream with a bunch of diabetics.

Tuesday, May 2, 2006

Random Thoughts...

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
If you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain to?
Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?
What would happen if an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object?
Is it legal to name your kid "Anonymous"?
Why do they call it getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights?
How fast do hotcakes sell?
Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
What does OK actually mean?
When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what’s the difference?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Friday, April 28, 2006

This is for real...

This is from mom... enjoy

(all this is from http://www.squatplatform.com/welcome.html)

Exposing The Sitting Toilet for What It is: A Health Threat

Thank you for visiting our website!We wish to share with you what we know about sitting toilets, including the specific ailments and diseases that they can cause, and what you can do to protect yourself.Although human beings are designed to evacuate waste in the squatting position, not many practise it nowadays, for two main reasons. One, sitting appears to be more 'dignified'. Two, a preference for form and design, not what is better. This is a tragedy, for contrary to popular belief, sitting toilets do NOT facilitate effective waste elimination…
In fact, the modern sitting toilet poses a GRAVE threat to health, and has been linked to many serious ailments and diseases such as appendicitis, constipation, prostate disorders and colon cancer. The TRUTH is that in the sitting position, it is physically impossible for you to evacuate waste completely and effectively.
If you still have a choice of using sitting or squatting toilets, the information we present would help you understand why squat toilets are better. However, if you only have sitting toilets at home, you have two options, if you want to switch from sitting to squatting:
(1) Replace at least one sitting toilet with a squat type; or
(2) Find a way to squat (not on the toilet bowl - it's not safe) over your existing sitting toilet(s). The first option is best. But if it is not feasible, we can help with the second option, by means of the Evaco Squat Platform.
By investing in one, you can - without doing anything to your sitting toilets - answer the call of nature the RIGHT Way: SQUATTING. It takes so little effort on your part... and it is so easy... yet, by choosing to squat for your bowel movements, you would reap a lifetime of health dividends...

You will not only experience comfortable and effective waste elimination everytime, but also gain increased protection from 12 serious health problems which have caused so much human grief and suffering over the past 150 years!
For this reason, I strongly urge you to make it a lifelong habit to squat in the toilet - with, if necessary, the help of an Evaco Squat Platform. With best wishes for your health, David, FounderEvaco Squat Platform Co

"I am thankful that there is actually such a simple solution to building health through proper and total elimination of waste.Serious hemorrhoids plagued my health after I delivered my eldest son. I believe that if I had known about the Evaco squat platform, my problems would have been solved much earlier. With the Evaco squat platform, my husband and I have managed to move our bowels better - in fact, we enjoy it more now! I would strongly encourage all who do not have squat toilets to get one!" Mrs Rebecca Ngui, Full-Time Mom
"I have always been told that the proper way to eliminate is by squatting. This is the reason why our ancestors did not developed the numerous diseases that plague our body (via the colon) today." Dr Akilah El, ND PhDNaturopathic Doctor

Routine schmoutine

We are all creatures of habit, in the morning I get up, take a shower, get dressed, check my email, wish I had a faster computer, walk into my kitchen, feed the dogs, (who, by the way know exactly where I will put each of their bowls in what order and that I won't feed them until they sit down and stay there), gaze into my fridge, shut the fridge door as I say to myself "I have nothing to eat", finish getting ready for the day (dry my hair, etc), go back to the kitchen, actually get food out and eat, look at my planner and then at the time, wonder why I didn't get up the first time my alarm went off, rush out the door to my car and go on with what I have planned for the day.
It hit me this morning that I do this EVERY DAY! I was in the middle of gazing into my fridge and muttering to myself about my lack of options as to which food would infect my body with preservatives and provide energy for a mere two to three hours when my phone rang. 'Do I answer it', I thought to myself...of course I would, I always answer my phone but the thought crossed my mind to let it ring. To be enthralled in the mystery of who could possibly have the nerve to call me in the middle of my fridge gazing...enough of that, I answered it. Just a friend calling to say hi, which turned into a twenty minute conversation that not only required brain activity (for me before eight in the morning, this is big) but also threw off my morning routine. You need to understand that before this phone call, I didn't even realize that I had a morning routine...life altering! I officially have a morning routine, I had a bad hair day today because by the time I got off the phone it was too late to save it (a hair straightener can only do so much)...all because of my morning routine.
Fact is, I have always hated the idea of doing the same thing every day, every week, every month...the thought makes me squirm. One of the biggest things that drove me to my hatred of high school was that we did the exact same thing every day of every week every single term. We had a bell that worked as a reminder to keep us on time but I felt smothered by it, like it ruled my life. In the mornings at 7:15 the bell would ring signaling that the cafeteria was open from breakfast, at 7:55 the first bell would ring warning us that we had five minutes to get to class, at 8:00 second bell would ring and we would be in our seats at our first period class where we would stay until another bell rang telling us that we had five minutes to get to our next class, this continued throughout the day until classes were over. Then there was another bell at 5:15 telling us it was time to go to dinner, then another bell at 6:55 telling us we had five minutes to get to the dorm, then the last bell of the day at 7:00 would ring to tell us to be in our dorms. I don't have a bell ringing all day, every day now but this morning was a scare enough for me.
I think tomorrow I'll change something.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


a little girl who needs out prayers...

Fact or Crap

A friend said to me some months ago something that she had heard, "this earth is the closest thing to Heaven for a lost person and it is the closest thing to Hell for a Christan." My best friend growing up used to use the phrase often, "what a day",we would write to each other and say, 'this has been a 'what a day' day'...and both knew that ment it had been hard. Although my stress over grades, work, and general life struggles has to be minor compaired to the fires of hell I have to say that many days my head hits the pillow exhausted and I think (with the least bit of enthusiasm), "what a day!". There is a game that my family has played in the past called "fact or crap", it's a card game and my mom won't play it unless we call it fact or fiction or some other 'nicer sounding' word. In playing the game you have to decide whether or not the statements on each card are fact or crap...true or untrue. Such is a skill that we all have to pick up in life, in college, in talking to others, in many areas of life. As I go through life in the world that is becoming more covered in crap by the minute I am anxious to see Heaven. Don't get me wrong, I see that many facts I am fortunate to pick up along my college carrer will help me in my future. But the increasing amount of busy work in my college courses speed me to my weary state each day and I can't help but think of each of the maticulous details that the profs pretend to care about are crap. As I end my hardest days thinking, 'this day has just been crappy', I find encouragement. Because there was a day that I would not have been able to see the difference between the facts and the crap that made their way in and out of my life and my mind. There was a day that this earth was the closest thing to Heaven for me, I was taking part and adding to the crap in the world. Now I know the difference between facts and crap and I envision Hell to be a place full of crap...even fuller then Earth, can you imagine!? Because when it comes down to it, any facts I hold to, any absolute truth I believe, it all comes from God, the very author of truth. So I see how this earth is the closest thing to Hell for Christians, weighted down but the crap of this world and the closest thing to Heaven for those who do not believe, with God always here, ready to listen, and ready to accept them into His family.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Who are these people?

There is this group of people that my family has the privilege to get to know, each of them have come into our lives through the years one by one, surprising us with their unique personalities and quirks. Sahara, the first one to come along I think came first on purpose because she knew she had to be the oldest in order to be the boss. She surprises me with sudden deep conversations like the time she explained that people who don't know Jesus will go to Hell and people who do will go to Heaven; and we don't want to go to Hell....very informative. One day this will be old news but she is missing a tooth and will leave Kindergarden proudly singing the motto of many five and six year olds, 'All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth'. Welsey came next...what a character! I remember a time when he was just a little baby and he was chubby...if only we knew that was the most fat we would ever see on the little guy! Wesley is multi-talented, he can sing anything he hears on tv, he can imitate any animal, he doesn't care what is going on so long as you don't get in between him and the tv screen. He is focused on what he is doing, he has energy enough for all of us, and well he's Wesley you have to meet him to understand. And next came Bria, she surprised us all with her red hair and spunk to go with it. She's the one who will do just about anything for some candy (or a grape tomato) and will not speak if she doesn't feel like it. All my life people have told me that I can give some nasty looks and that my emotions show on my face, this chic has topped all my face expressions hands down! Isaiah came next, what a ham! Always trying to act bigger to keep up with the older kids is hard but he is a tough one. He has sweet moments and many more entertaining ones! He is famous now in India, we should make shirts that say, 'I'm related to Isaiah DeLaughter!' Maybe people will want our pictures too! After Isaiah came Tirza, she is our newest so we are just getting to know her. She is a monkey, she seems to hold her own with a good temper but a winning smile and she has her priorities set. How many babies do you know that have figured out that there is only one time in their life that it's healthy to be fat? Well, she is definately taking advatage of this time in her life and I'm cheering her on!
Five kids, and that's just the one's I'm related to. There are many more kiddos in my life that I adore and each time I am with them I wonder, who are these people? What will they become? Will they grow up to make a difference in their worlds? Will their hearts be hard to the gospel? I pray they will all grow to know their savior, to bring their Creator joy by joining His family and bring Him glory by living lives pleasing to Him. I keep getting to know all these kids as days go by, as they grow older and eventually will probably be too cool to talk to me but I will keep praying and keep wondering, 'who are these people!' All the while hoping that they figure out who they are in these difficult years of growing up, and know that whoever they are isn't a mistake but an opportunity to shake their world. And eventually we will all be saying, I knew them when...