Sometimes I struggle with being single. I want to be married, I desire that companionship, children, my own home to keep. But most of the time, I am content, even joyful that I have this time of singleness. I have an abundance of time and therefore opportunities to serve others as a single women. I enjoy going into the homes of my sweet friends, tending to their children, making them dinner, and often sharing company with them, my 'married' friends. And I leave those special times with a full heart, and often more of an idea of how I would like my future husband to treat me and my children. But lately it has been more difficult. Although I can blame it on a number of things like the many comments and well meaning 'nudges' that I recieve from my (married) sisters in Christ, it all comes down to my heart and what I let myself dwell on at the end of the day. I need to be more intentional about thinking on today, what God has blessed me with NOW, and how He can and wants to use me (despite my shortcomings). It's just so easy for my desire to turn into an aching 'need' and for my yearning heart to turn into a jealose hurt.
So I don't feel like this is the best blog I have ever writin but it is what is on my heart so I am sharing...let me know your thoughts!
"it all comes down to my heart and what I let myself dwell on at the end of the day."
ReplyDeleteThat is so true, sister. And a convicting reminder to me. Thanks for sharing. I hear testimonies all the time from people who are touched by your gift of serving them. They are blessed by your singleness which you view as a blessing. Praise God for that!
-gm-
heidi, that is so encouraging to me. thanks for the comment on my blog. and my frustration with not having children is exactly what you are going through now and what i went through for 3+ years. we should get together sometime. come to our house for mexican with stefi anytime. sunday nights at 6:30. see ya.
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