I keep meaning to sit down and write a blog...like last week and the week before that. I don't know why I don't have much to write about lately, I feel like I have a ton of stuff going on! Work is crazy busy since everyone is wanting to have holiday parties and holiday parties need lots of good food...therefore they call me! (not everybody but lots of people) Anyhow, all that to say work is busy and for that I am grateful but it does leave me tired at the end of the day so my social interactions are limited (to say the least).
Here is the struggle that is on my mind...if anyone has some words of wisdom, by all means, share! Lately I have been frustrated when I read the Word. I read some chapters and find encouragement, rebuke, and more understanding of who God is. Then I read other chapters and find myself skimming over words that seem to crash into my brain and shatter into misunderstanding before I can digest them into making any sense at all! Yesterday I was talking with a friend of mine who is catholic, we were having a conversation about the differences between our beliefs when I asked him where the papacy originated from. So he gave me a reference from Matthew, when Jesus tells Peter he is the Rock and appoints him the leader over the apostles. Later I read the passage and felt like I was reading a book in a language I don't understand. I don't understand where others find greater meanings from passages. When I asked a friend with an doctorate of ministry, he quickly new the reference I was talking about and what my catholic friend was referring to. I left the conversation praying...'ok God, why is this so hard? Do I have to get a seminary degree to understand more about you because it feels like I have hit the place where I can't grasp any more on my own!" Keeping in mind of course that I trust God to show Himself to me as He sees fit but why do I find the Word, the very basis of my faith, the thing I cling to when nothing else makes sense...so hard to comprehend!?
Anyway, there is my heart for today.
I understand--I stand in awe of people who can immediately find passages and reference and can tell me exactly what's going on in each book of the Bible. The point is I need to study more--I guess I always will. At the same time, I need to remember it is a learning PROCESS--I won't have it all at once. You don't have to have a degree to know the Bible; that's the beauty of having it in our hands in our own language. Just keep at it, sister. Pray for understanding and wisdom as you read and study. I think that is a prayer God will answer affirmatively.
ReplyDeleteMuch Love,
-g-
Don't be so hard on yourself!! There are a LOT of people who KNOW it all but don't have the yearning to really understand what it means for their life and what they should do with all the knowledge! Of course we want to understand what the Bible/God is telling us though...the Holy Spirit in us does that for us, WE don't do it. Not that we don't have to be diligent, keeping at it, but it is Him that gives us the understanding. This is why I could share something (a verse maybe)with an unbelieving friend that I feel is transforming/awesome and it doesn't make any sense to them...unless the Holy Spirit is working it won't make any sense. OK, saying that, don't let Satan put doubt in your mind about the Holy Spirit IN YOU! Hope this isn't confusing...
ReplyDeleteFor me it helps to read one book at a time, knowing why/to who it was written. Maybe figure out some things about the man who wrote it down. If I just study a chapter maybe out of a random book I use something like SPECKA to ask questions of it. (Sin to confess, Promise to claim, Example to follow, Command, Knowledge to obtain, Application)ALSO, (I know this is getting long...should have written an email :)) some Bible studies I have done have brought incredible insight. The one I am doing right now is awesome!!! It is on the Fruit of the SPIRIT..!! I have noticed while doing this study and going to all the references I will read something and it makes sense...remembering times when I had NO idea what it was talking about/refering to.(By the way...that still happens all the time) So, I thank God people spend hours and hours researching, praying, and studying to put together Bible studies for us...its awesome to gleen off what God has shown them so clearly. I'll try not to write books like this in the future on your blog. :) Love ~ Kara
i have to agree with glenna and kara. (also, does kara have a blog?) i just want to encourage you that you are not alone.
ReplyDeletewhen ben and i were dating, i had been accepted to go to denver seminary and i only applied because i was teaching bible study and suddenly felt very unequipped (don't know if that's a word) to teach. so, i figured out what i would do. then ben came into my life. he said "i think if you look hard enough, you don't have to go to seminary...you just have to have that longing where you are." (and also said i could get the same teaching at Christ Community Church) so i say all of that to say that sometimes we want things to happen quickly or for some reason and God (more times than not) just wants us to basgue (that's not the right spelling) in HIS glory and to fall more in love with the scriptures. keep persevering, girl...i'm right there with ya! love you!
janie