Wednesday, July 18, 2007

waiting impatiently...

I wonder what it is like to wait patiently. I wouldn't know because I've never done it. Life is too short for waisting time, even a moment of it. I will my death to come quickly in fear that, through time, I will weaken to the pull of this culture. To the idea that life is just work and money and bills with family and values and love on the side. In the deepest part of my soul I know that this life is to be about the things that matter- not just to my culture but to God and to myself. I never finished college, I don't make 'enough' money to pay everything I owe, although I could. I could have finished college, I could work a great paying job but I don't. I choose not to. Some people think me foolish, some think I'll figure it out eventually but I know- this is just me. God made me different for some reason. He made me value my time here on earth as something to be relished and not waisted. With this short time I have here I am determined to embrace my family, to absorb and expell love, and most important of all, gather, sort out and become all I can of God. So as I look toward my future, I wonder what is in store for tomorrow. I'm not making any plans because God tells me He has those set out already. I do however wait eagerly for His plans to unfold before me - for they must be great. There must be a purpose for my life because I am still here. As for tonight, I pray as always my selfish yet heartfelt prayer - bring to me quickly Lord the desires of my heart or Lord I plead with you again change them to line up with your good and perfect will.

1 comment:

  1. I don't think you're "different". I just read this really neat thing (which reminds me...I want to post it) that if there were 10 people on earth...and it gave what they would be like. But only 1 would have a college degree. And maybe 2 or 3 (I'll have to check again...
    were rich). So although in the US the world doesn't look like this...most of it does.

    About what life is about....I'm right there with you. It is only about relationships...with God and others...ultimately to glorify Him in all of them. One of the main reasons I did go and get a college degree is so I could spend my time on not jobs/money issues but my family and relationships. That if need be I could work very little and be able to do as I with my family and have the freedom to spend time on other relationships as well. I also found that the time I did spend at work gave incredible opportunities to be a "light". One thing that is so easy in America is to just be with our other believing friends and maybe not have any people in our lives that are not sad is that!! Working most anywhere will take care of I'm sure you know. :) Just some thoughts... (and you should just say you "haven't" finished college..."never" seems like you're dead and couldn't if you wished. Mark, for example :)