Lately we have been given lots of lessons. Fun lessons, hard lessons, lessons meant to teach others that in turn teach us and visa versa. Lessons are not usually easy to learn, especially when you are like me...stubborn and most of the time not very open to learning whatever said lesson is being taught.
Last weekend we had the opportunity to serve at Secret Church here at a local church, on one of their boards they had take home papers and on one of the breaks I grabbed one titled "How To Pray For Your Husband"...feeling as though I needed to step up a bit in that category and, well, who doesn't need a little extra prayer support?
Anyhoo...I have been focusing on each of the daily verses listed and little prayer topics focused on helping him be a better man in a variety of different ways. While it is nice to have a pointed topic to pray specifically for, it can also be a little convicting too. Each day I have enjoyed not only praying these things for Doug but taking a look at my own heart condition on each topic that is covered. Elementary right? Ya, I know, just not something that I have done on a consistent daily basis in this way for a while .
Today is Doug's Monday and for this day, the prayer is that he might learn to take captive and not be conformed to the world's thinking and that he would learn to not depend on his circumstances for happiness but on God alone. I read that and was like, "uh, I am happy to pray this for him but there had better also be someone out there praying this for me too!" Because, I think I need it!
Now, I know that I am not living in a great deal of stress or very difficult circumstances however my heart likes to lie to me (they say it is supposed to be pretty deceitful, so it's not like I haven't been warned). It tells me that we could have it better than this, that we (gasp) deserve better, what? Did the word 'deserve' just come out of my brain onto my blog post!? That is SO not my normal way of thinking but it has started creeping in there and I have no idea why.
Now I wouldn't have come right out and thought to myself that I was having to combat being conformed to the world's thinking either but that one is sneaking in there too! I have found myself feeling like I need to defend our decision to come here, to go to school, to struggle each month to make bills and still eat, mainly, to obey. Many who I at one time gained a great deal of support from are the ones who question our decisions and doubt our sincerity in why we are here.
Then I am reminded- Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
(Romans 12:2 ESV)
Oh, and that part about learning not to depend on our circumstances for happiness but on God alone? Sure, I'll cover that too.
We may not be dinning as 'fine' as we used to or enjoying some of the same comforts that we had before this move but for what we do have, we are so very grateful.
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
GOD, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer's;
he makes me tread on my high places.
To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments.
(Habakkuk 3:17-19 ESV)